Go Back to Your Wife. She Deserves All of You!

Mercury is literally retrograding this year and bringing me back-to-back surprises in the form of what I would like to call "Thank you, Next", just like Ariana Grande. I've got to ask what it is about me that people keep coming back. God works mysteriously, but at least take my interest into consideration. Please! 

So I got a knock from a ghost I never expected. And this one was quiet surprising. Never saw it coming. In the past, it was charming, adventurous and alluring. But you learn reality after you distance yourself from something you romanticise. That's exactly what happened. Honestly, I dodged a bullet, and I thank my stars for it. 

The ghost came through my writing, or it claims. Interestingly, the story kept changing, from an old bookmark, an accidental stumble, to nostalgia. And I entertained it because, well, I was bored and was looking for some drama. What followed was a series of slow exchanges. Vague enough to mean nothing, and frequent enough to feel like something. But most intriguingly, I saw a ghost who wanted to be seen but not caught. 

During this phase, I did notice a silent presence watching from the shadows, conveniently when it wanted to. No name, no face, just deliberate. Watching without wanting to be known. That's not curiosity. That's someone who needs something but doesn't dare to ask for it.

When I confronted the ghost and directly asked, "How can I help?", it got startled. Said nothing and asked to ignore it. Brah! What is IT? Plus, you came to me, not the other way around. Classic deflection from someone who hadn't thought past the knock on the door.

I quickly forgot about the ghost because of, well, life! But then, on a dramatic night, I questioned this ghost the real questions. The kind that don't come with comfortable answers. About choices! About patterns that don't change just because time passes! About the audacity it takes to reappear with no explanation and expect a warm welcome!

Here's what I've learned about people who come back after years, they rarely come back for you. They come back for a feeling. The feeling of being known, of being seen, of something vivid from a time when life felt less settled and more alive. They come back for familiarity. Or excitement. Or the older version of them, they miss!

You just happen to be the source of those feelings. It's flattering until you realise you're not being sought, a sensation is.

Again, conveniently, the ghost tastefully and selectively answered a few questions. To my no surprise, the ghost answered the questions that made IT look human and ignored the questions that actually take accountability. My first reaction was loud laughter. For you see, selective honesty is still dishonesty. But again, I wasn't looking for a confession; I was simply looking for a tadka. Well, call me guilty already! His no-answer response gave me content for the blog. 

But it also made me realise...

People who hurt you and then reappear years later, they haven't changed as much as time has just made them more sophisticated about it. The patterns are the same. The avoidance is the same. The ego is the same. Just older, a little quieter, and apparently, married. 

And that's where I ended it with "Go back to your wife. She deserves all of her husband." 

Not the version that's knocking on the old door at midnight, watching old stories in silence, and sending careful emails that say everything and nothing at the same time. Because I believed it, though she is a complete stranger to me. 

I've got my own story to write. And you're not a chapter anymore. You're a footnote.

Until next time 

XOXO

The Queen of Random Things