We're All in a Situationship With Our Own Lives

We treat every person like a walking red flag when they are not ready to commit to us. 

No labels? Disrepectful

"Let's see where this goes"? Emotionally unavailable

Vague, non-committal and always keeping options open? RUN

And then at the end of the day we go home and do the same thing to our goals all over again!!!!! I am serious. Just give it a thought. You have that one thing you want, the career pivot, the creative project, the fit version of you, you promised you would become. But you have been "seeing where it goes" with it for the past three years. 

No labels. No commitment. Just vibing, AND we are completely fine with it! 

You still don't get it? Wait, let me explain...

The relationship with that novel you have been "working on" since 2021? Situatioship

You show up when the mood is right, then disappear for months, and then slide back in like nothing happened. The incomplete novel doesn't say anything. The novel just waits. 

Your fitness routine? That's a talking stage that never progressed. 

The career you actually want? You are not ready to define things because you don't want to put pressure, so you end up exploring. I mean, SERIOUSLY?? 

I think we are terrified of the accountability that comes with commitments. Well, I am! With another person, you can blame them for the ambiguity. There will be ones who won't define things. Some will string you along. 

But what about it when you are in a situationship with yourself? 

There is nobody else in the room. It's just YOU. The vagueness is entirely YOURS.

So it's easier to keep it simple! "I am working on it" is the "I am not looking for anything serious" of personal development. It allows you to be in the picture without actually being in the picture. You feel like you are trying because technically (mostly verbally) you are trying. 

Occasionally, when the conditions are perfect. Never actually having to confront what it means if you try properly and it still doesn't work. That's the real fear, isn't it? Not failure exactly, but the failure of showing up and still not getting it. 

So we protect ourselves by half-committing. We keep the dream on the back burner, warm enough that it doesn't die, yet not hot enough that we actually have to do anything about it. We are emotionally unavailable for our own potential. And somehow in-between all this, we have convinced ourselves that this is self-awareness. 

It's not. It's just a well-branded and wrapped avoidance strategy. Welcome to REALITY! 

The version of you that exists in your head, the one who has it together, who made the thing, who became the person, she/he has been waiting by the phone. That person keeps making excuses for you. He's busy. She'll come around. I know he actually cares; he just has trouble showing it.

Honey, that person is not going to change and nor are you. Not until you decide that being in a situationship with your own life isn't actually giving you what you want. Define the relationship with your ambition, identity and parts of yourself that keep treating you like an option instead of a priority. 

Or don't, but at least be honest about WHY.  

Until next time, 

XOXO

The Queen of Random Things