The Round Table of Religious Gods

There are approximately 4,000 religions on Earth. Christianity has the most followers, followed by Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. Did you know that? 

Religion is an evergreen topic of chaos around the world. I don't know how many people have lost their lives in the name of religion. Humans have been fighting for ages in the name of it to prove the grandeur of their religion and to save their gods by preventing the enforcement of other religions. That's one reason migrants came into existence. 

I often wonder, do these so-called religion guardians ever get tired of creating chaos? 

And what do they get by creating such nuances? 

It also makes me think of the almighty, if the creator of the universe, the supreme power, the ruler, the real god, etc., needs help from these petty followers, who can't even handle their own lives!  

Now, see, I find religious wars the stupidest thing, but it benefits political parties around the globe. Hence, I don't see it going out of fashion anytime soon. In the past few years, I have been curious about different mythologies because if you read such a narration as a story that has avatars with numerous powers and a backstory, it becomes interesting and easy to remember. 

Also, if you want to argue or debate about history, mythology, and diet with anybody, I insist you study it, as then it becomes more fun to shut their mouth with factual and reliable details. It's my personal experience. Morons will not shut up, but at least you come out as the educated one. Most of the religious idiots aren't aware of their respective teachings. Instead, political parties made them feel insecure about gaining power. 

I would recommend that you read further only if you have an open mind and are ready for some light, creative, and chucklesome theory. If you are highly religious, please close the tab and get back to your life. This isn't for you. 

Based on the little reading that I have done, I found Sikhism and Buddhism to be the most profound religions. Sikhism teaches the same values to the rich and poor, males and females, white and black. In the house of Waheguru, everyone is equal, and no one is treated as special. 

Buddhism teaches humanity and being closer to a superior power(Whatever you believe in). And please, Buddhism and Jainism are different. 

I believe the worst religion out of all, well, from the ones I am aware of, is Christianity, and this is the first time I have said it. I mean, look at their history. They forced so many people to convert. We are aware that Zoroastrians had to leave their country to save themselves. Additionally, the West has been divided into two: Satan vs. God. I guess that's just karma, getting back to the religion that tried to conquer the world and impose its teachings. 

However, most religions do not value women. Therefore, I have said it before, and I say it again, it shouldn't be religion VS religion; rather, it should be females VS religions. Nobody seems to care about the womanfolk. Yes, there are exceptions, but they aren't widely followed. I know that reads harsh, and it's meant to; I needed you a little riled up before I flip the whole thing on its head. Stick with me.

But that's about that. I think at the end of the day, all religions lead to one god. Maybe that one god is introverted and shy, so he/she doesn't want to come out in front of his/her creations, or maybe because of the way humans have evolved. 

People fight about religions and gods, but I can prove that there is only one god, and if there are multiple gods, then they were friends, just like you and I. This narration is my complete imagination to prove my point. 

Once upon a time, 

all the gods decided to meet and share a lovely meal together in some part of the sky to discuss their most complex creation, the human race. It was a BYOB/F (Bring Your Own Booze/Food) because they followed a strict diet, and it would become difficult for someone to handle such a diverse menu. 

The list of gods that RSVPed Yes for this massive party was interesting. 

Jesus came because God is the Holy Spirit and is omnipresent. 

Allah was busy, so Mohammad came, covering his face because he was shy. (Interestingly, Jesus and Mohammed are prophets and believed to be the same person) 

Master Kong came to represent Confucianism. 

Even though Shiva usually gets top billing in the Hindu Trimurti, Vishnu decided to come as he is good with communication skills.

Gautama Buddha came to fill the seat for Buddhism as well as Jainism. 

Just like that, Yahweh for Judaism, Kami for Shinto, Waheguru for Sikhism, Daode Tianzun for Taoism, and Ahura Mazda for Zoroastrianism came to take part in the biggest feast/meeting of gods.  

At the time of the event, when all the gods were sitting together and enjoying the meal, they were having a fun conversation, and there was no chaos. Only laughter, love, and compassion. The table contained a variety of food items, as the gods wanted to serve the best to each other. Jesus caught everyone's attention with the chiming sound of a champagne glass and spoon.  

"Alright, alright, settle down," Jesus said, tapping the glass one more time, because apparently even the son of God likes a dramatic pause. "Look at us. Not one thunderbolt thrown all night. And yet down there," he gestured toward Earth, "they're still fighting in our names."

Buddha, who'd been quietly meditating through the appetisers, opened one eye. "I never asked anyone to fight over me. I asked them to want less. They skipped that part and kept the fighting."

"Same," said Vishnu, topping up everyone's glasses. "I've shown up on Earth ten separate times trying to fix things. Ten. And every time, someone starts a new argument about who I really am instead of just, you know, listening."

Mohammad laughed from behind his hand, still a little shy. "At least you get to argue about who you are. Mine won't even let people draw a picture of me."

"Try being three people at once," Jesus said. "Everyone wants a piece of me, and nobody wants to agree on which piece is real."

Waheguru had been quietly enjoying the one thing this dinner had going for it — nobody at this table cared who was rich, poor, male, or female. Finally, he spoke. "Can I say something? My whole thing was one door; everyone walks in the same way, no exceptions. And people still found a way to make some folks less equal than others. It's never the message. It's the ego they pile on top of it."

That one landed heavier than the jokes before it. Nobody refilled a glass for a second.

Master Kong cleared his throat, the way he does when he's about to make everyone feel a little called out. "This is what I keep trying to say. Be good to your community, respect people, don't be a jerk. I wrote it down as simply as I could, and somehow it still got twisted into an excuse to treat someone's daughter-in-law like less of a person."

The quieter gods around the table, the ones whose names most people at the party wouldn't recognise without a footnote, and who'd spent centuries getting overlooked or run out of their own homelands for it, just nodded. They didn't need to say much. They'd heard this conversation a thousand times before.

Jesus raised his glass one more time, and this time nobody laughed, because he meant it. "Here's the thing. Every single one of us, sitting here, agrees on the basics. Be kind. Don't hoard. Don't hurt people. And every one of us has some version of 'protect the vulnerable' in our story. And every single time, down there, the first people thrown under the bus are the women. None of us asked for that. That part isn't scripture. That's just people, doing what people do, and blaming it on us."

Silence. The good kind. The kind where a joke quietly turns into the point.

"So," Buddha said, breaking the tension the way only a fully enlightened man can, "do we tell them there's only one of us? Or let them keep fighting about that too?"

"Let them argue about the small stuff," Vishnu said, smiling. "As long as they stop fighting about the stuff that actually matters."

"Actually," Jesus said, setting his glass down, "I have an idea. What if, just for one year, we made all our festivals fall on the same day?"

The table went quiet, then lit up all at once.

Imagine it. 

One single day where the diyas of Diwali are being lit at the same time someone's breaking their Ramzan fast with family over a plate of dates and biryani. Christmas lights strung up on the same street as Eid decorations, both making the whole neighbourhood glow. Guru Nanak's langar serving free food to anyone who walks in, right as Buddhist temples fill with quiet chanting and incense, and a Jain family down the road marks Mahavir Jayanti with a quiet act of charity. Somewhere else, a menorah is being lit for Hanukkah while a Zoroastrian household sets out a Nowruz table for the new year, and a Taoist family lights lanterns for the Lunar New Year, all under the same sky, on the same night, without anyone having to choose which celebration mattered more. Firecrackers and fairy lights and fasting and feasting, all happening at once, because everyone, everywhere, decided to celebrate together instead of fighting.

No one would need to ask what someone else's holiday means before deciding whether to feel happy for them. You'd just see your neighbour's lights on and know. Oh, today's a good day for everyone.

"That's the whole bit, isn't it?" Waheguru said. "We're not that different. We just never scheduled it right."

And that, dear reader, is my entirely fictional, deeply imagined answer to why it's chaos down here and peace up there. It was never really about God. It's not really even about religion. It's about the people who take a message built on equality and quietly write women and the poor out of it, then call the result divine law.

Maybe that's the one thing the gods would all agree on, if you actually sat them down at the same table and maybe, one year, they'll actually sync the calendar.

Until next time, mull over it! 

XOXO

The Queen of Random Things