Suddenly, I was grounded and felt like a human!

On a Tuesday morning, I woke up with a normal feeling, nothing special or unique. Finished my morning routine and reached the office for a mundane weekday. When it was almost time for lunch, I swiped through my Instagram to kill the remaining time. And I came across Nikil Kamth’s image.

Something inside me shifted because I felt something. That feeling reminded me of a dream I had the previous night. Since last year, I have had a major obsession with Nikhil Kamth. But this year, that feeling vanished because I realized he is out of my league. Not because he is rich and famous, but because anything and everything that I bring to the table for him isn’t enough. And that was the moment my mind stopped reacting to his name, image, or anything related to him, until this fine Tuesday.

My dream, of course, included him, and he was my husband. And I vividly remember the way I felt when he said, “Babe, that’s been taken care of for you. Don’t worry!” Even my dream version couldn’t believe it because she had a good look at him for a good minute. Hence, in reality, when his picture came in front of me, my body remembered the way it felt in the dream, and so did my brain. I revisited that small scene because I loved living it.

Coming back out of the dream was hard because it came with a hard-hitting reality of the absence of being taken care of. I realized that this is the reason people get married or choose to be in a relationship. I get it now. It’s an amazing feeling when someone looks after you and takes care of you. People who have long forgotten how it feels or have been distant don’t realize the effect of it.

Sure, you won’t die if someone isn’t there to reduce your burden. But it does feel amazing to know someone is there to check on us when we forget to take care of ourselves. You need to have a taste of it. I could relate to my friends who ever told me you need someone in life to accompany you. I get it.

I ain’t saying I have the clear full picture, but just the trailer of it made me realize how beautiful the whole experience can be! Relying on someone is a form of courage because it requires vulnerability and trust. You give a part of yourself to the person, and that is one hell of an experience that people in a relationship get to enjoy. A sense of belonging at the end of the day that makes you feel it’s all worth it.

Gosh! I feel jealous, but not bitter! Now, I can’t convert my dream into reality because, well, Nikhil Kamth, but I can definitely say it made me emotional and made me realize something I didn’t have. Never mind that. The absence of something doesn't make your life sad or incomplete.

Now it's been a couple of months since that distinctive Tuesday. I have forgotten how I felt because of that dream. In fact, even the memory of is dream is hazy, and the only thing I remember is that I felt something that made me feel like a human, like a normal human that I am supposed to be!   

Until next time

Lots of love and kisses

The Queen of Random Things