Let's Explore the Options of What We Are!

Couple of weeks ago, Vir Das' latest comedy show was released on an OTT channel with a new concept. I was excited, but I wasn't really impressed with it. Well, that's my opinion, and I am entitled to it. There was this very beautiful line Vir said particularly to Gen Z: “You are busy defining who you are instead of showing what you are.”

I understand that this was a subjective remark, but it felt more like an objective one. I was intrigued to dig deeper into this concept of "Who you are" and "What you are." See, I sometimes fall in love with philosophical things, and other times they bore me to death. But this line was so beautiful that I had to do my research in order to get more clarity.

Who you are is your personal identity, the ever-changing personal! For instance, your story, mindset, relationships, etc. It's more of what makes you you and not someone else. It's a collective narrative of the tags that you allow yourself to have.

What you are is your essence of nature, the eternal truth! It is a deeper concept that goes into your core of existence. This concept motivates you to live the essence of your narrative. For instance, if you label yourself kind, you have to show it in your actions. It's more of what you are made of in this massive universe.

👉 One is the Story of You & the other is the Truth of You.

People often get stuck with their positive and negative experiences. And instead of moving on and taking them as turning points, they carry them for life. Have you ever heard someone saying, “I have a broken heart”? That’s defining who you are. But when you hear, “That was a bad experience” that’s living what you are.

We stay with experiences and let them define us, which becomes heavy as we move ahead in life. Negative experiences don't allow us to explore something beyond the comfort zone or safe area because we are scared of the unknown or getting hurt. Positive experiences often make us arrogant and limit our growth. In both scenarios, we get stuck in the past, which is scary because we don't live there any more.

But here's the thing: we are not our experiences. We are what we choose to become after those good and bad experiences. A broken heart doesn't mean you were left behind. Success doesn't make you a permanent winner. These are temporary states, not eternal truths.

Who you are says: I am broken. I am successful.
What you are whispers: I am capable of healing. I am in a growing stage.

Who you are is a definition (that's why it's limiting). What you are is a demonstration (that's why it's liberating).

If experiences and tags stay for too long, you are choosing them and dragging them with you for ulterior motives. These motives might be known or unknown to you. To shift from "Who" to "What," you must stop defining your experiences as part of your personality. You must also ensure to keep up with the good traits.

It's not that complicated. 

Instead of saying, “I am strong,” ask yourself, “Did I face something that scares me?” 

Instead of saying, “I am broken,” remind yourself, “Pain is part of life. I am trying to accept it. I am healing.”

I highly suggest a change of perspective and vocabulary because people don't remember how you define yourself. They remember the way you live.

To be honest, even I fall into this trap of “who I am.” I often say, “I am not a morning person, I am a night owl.” But when I wake up early and witness the quietness of dawn, I realize I am someone who appreciates and enjoys peace, space, and fresh starts. That doesn't need a definition. I simply enjoy how I feel when the world is still. Nights are just the more convenient option for me.

It's the same with my writing. I say, “I am a content writer.” But I love finding meaning in words, turning ideas into reflections. That's not a definition. That shows in my writing.

So I am guessing Vir Das was suggesting Gen Z to stop being busy with definitions. Don’t get trapped in the stories of who you are. Instead, live a life that shows what you are. Ratan Tata is a quintessential example of this.

If you ask me, I like the best of both worlds. I like wearing my tags as badges as reminders on bad days when I am too low to get up and on good days when I am flying too high. The balance, if you may!

I will end this piece by saying: the truth is always louder than the story.

Until Next time

XOXO

The Queen of Random Things